December

wake up and neither of us says a thing
i've always been good at pretending,
you were all that you seemed. a dream.
signed the dotted line not to let you too far in
i parked in the street, you pulled the car in.
crossed off, blocked off, with a five month lapse in
the downstairs clock. i wanted to break it.
to break you, you never broke me. i was eighteen.
had a brand new day, new ride, new steam.
jumped back alive for us to fold over.
cowardly. you're a soured thing, overpowering
you thought you were in my head, i couldn't read
orders. you dropped me off without looking back.
i was already a step ahead. detached. left foot right foot.
snowy steps. a soldier. never looking back,
i never looked in the first place.
can't remember your eyes, your voice, your face, yeah,
you thought you had an edge, that you outran me.
look whose shoes were already laced.
i was ready, the gun went off. you never had me.





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