Who Am I?

January 13, 2011
Who am I?
Am I pretty enough?
Will they like me?
Am I too fat or too skinny?
Don’t be to nice, yet don’t be to mean.
Play hard to get.
What does that even mean?
What is the point of these hurtful useless mind games?
Why play these pointless games?
Don’t say what you mean and feel.
Hide behind a wall.
Why can’t I show people who I really am?
I think I am too different
Who is the judge of that?
I want to be like them.
They are popular and I am not.
They are everything I want to be.
They have the life I want. (big pause)
I change what I like.
I change how I act.
What teams I like, even the people I like.
Here is this boy.
Why am I supposed to like him?
I like someone else.
Will this boy ensure my ticket in.
I know the right thing to do, but yet I do the opposite.
I did stuff I never would have done if I never met these people.
Why did I let them change my views.
They were all doing it.
Does that mean I should?
So much pressure.
I change my hair, make-up, and clothes.
He loves me, So do they.
I feel odd and like my life has flashed before my eyes.
I feel like my life is a book filled with colors yet I did not put them there.
Was it worth it?
I never got what I wanted.
I never got true friends.
Would they like me if I didn’t change?
Would he still love me? Or even notice me?
I lost my identity, my hopes, dreams, and thoughts.
Everything got taken from me.
I don’t think it was worth it.
Now, I question who I am.

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