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Who have I become?

Who have I become?

I used to say I love you, because I thought it was the right thing to say back.

I used to want to make others happy, other than myself because I believed since I couldn't be happy then someone else sure could.

I used to leave the house for an entire day and not return until after hours.

I became a stranger to my own family.

I used to write poetry about how nothing in my life really mattered and how nothing in life was going good for me.

I used to have so many negative thoughts about my life and the more I thought of them the more I felt the need to rebel.

The fact that I didn't have my father throughout my whole teenage life really affected me.

I quit playing baseball, I began receiving bad grades in school.

As I began to notice my life, I knew I wasn't the person who I used to be, for I was a different kid.

I felt lost, cold, alone and scared.

I hated relationships, they never seemed to work for me. I was always dumped and used.

I never cried for a girl, for I cried for the situation. It's a bit complex. How I used to feel depressed.

I always kept my feelings to myself.

I began to carry a fake smile with me at all times.

In this life, what you see on the out may not be what you will see within.

For we all live life in disguises.

I was considered the life of the party. Now the party is not even part of my life.

Then came the time when it hit me, when i decided and told myself, this needs to change.

For the first time I fell in love. I began to believe in relationships and in love.

I no longer hide my feelings and tears, I now I have someone to tell and talk to.

In a way I couldn't even talk to myself in the past.

Now I don't leave my house excessively. I'm no longer a stranger to my own family.

For once in my life I actually have the power in my heart to say I am happy and mean it.

Now, when it comes to her, "I love you" means everything to me.

I have build myself up piece by piece like a puzzle that takes years to complete.

I really do feel good about my life.

Although negative thoughts will always linger in my mind.

I feel different today.

Who have I become?

I have become a better person.



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A-N-D said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 12:08 am
son.. you got mad talent. keep on writing.
 
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