I love you mommy.
Thanks for dropping me off late to preschool every day.
Don’t worry; I didn’t mind telling the teacher it was my fault.
I also didn’t care when you shot up in the kitchen while I ate my toast.
I love you daddy.
Thanks for staying away and sitting alone in your office.
I wanted you to be happy, so I let you drink yourself to sleep.
I hope you were proud of me when I didn’t cry about your pills.

I love you brother.
Thanks for sticking by me.
It didn’t bother me at all when you ripped my book in half.
And when I see you in school, I swear I’ll pretend not to know who you are.
I’ll let your friends make fun of me, just because I know it makes you laugh.

I love you best friend.
Thanks for keeping me levelheaded.
I’m glad we were together when the bullies beat us up.
I enjoyed listening to you curse and rant about them.
I promise, I would have held your hand that day if I was there when they put you in the hospital.
And don’t worry, I looked away just like you asked when you put your lips to a 45.

I love you sweetheart.
Thank you for saying it would last forever.
Then please, feel free to scream and hit me.
Maybe this time you’ll let me pull out your hair and spit in your face.
I’ll tell people we have our ups and downs, but we work through them.
I promise, I’ll say the bruises on my arms are just from something unfortunate and made up.

I love you Death.
Thank you for freeing me from this cage.
Your cold embrace takes me to where I can finally be free.
I’ll bask and smile in the darkness of my grave.
Just please, let the leaving be peaceful,
For I hope never to return.