I think of you sometimes well all the time really.
There is not a time that I don't miss you at all .
I remember that night like it was yesterday.
Sometimes I wish I wouldn't think of that night .
But I always do and really I can't get away from it.
At times I cut and I feel better the blood is a joy ride for me
or I got to the drugs as they take the pain away from me
Mother...
I cry myself to sleep every night because of that word .
That word is so wrong to me now.
When I hear it I shake and growl under my breath
as I roll my eyes to it
I just sigh and look to the sky and it seems that pain leaves me
I am glade it does
I smile at the sky as I write your name in it
I can see the sky turn to a baby blue
when the sky Is gray I know your having a bad day so that is when I am sad the most
sometimes I laugh at the pictures
when I was little
I was happy then I really was
now I have to flip a con to tell me what I should feel
is that a bad thing?
I think about dieing....
but not right now that has calmed down a bit
now I am just wanting to get my poems out so people can read them
that is what I want really bad
for real
I smile all the time now it is a good feeling
there not fake well some of them are ….
there all fake really but there almost there to a real smile
almost.....
Mother I love you and miss you