I need it. My soul needs it. Especially now. I open a tab for YouTube and begin to type in the name, the band instantly popping up as soon as I put S-H-I. My soul. My music. My heart. Hesitation is non-existent as I’m pulled to “Up & Down”. Well, there’s no stopping now.

Grabbing my headphones, I for somehow cast a glance around even though I know I’m alone. Is it a sin? No. Maybe not. I waste no time grabbing and quickly detangling the headphones before shoving the jack into the computer. Yeah. I do need this, more than I realize I need it. As soon as the buds go onto my ears, I suddenly feel lighter. A thought arrives.

Why not “My Senorita”? Or “Amigo”? Or “Reply?”.. Or “Breathe”? No. I need them. I need their lyrics. Their inspiration- their music. It soothes the soul. I finally decide on “Replay” instead and quickly click the first video that pops up. Wishing the advertisement over, my heard races a little as I wait.

Maybe I shouldn’t listen? Maybe I should just stop and deal with it alone, saying nothing nor venting into a song? No. No. No. It won’t do.

The music begins and the lyrics start- the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, and I don’t even know the lyrics.. Here come the tears. And the chest-tightening.. Surprisingly, the only effect is actually just a lob in the pit of my chest. I do feel better though. Why not listen to “Hello?”

Tears threaten again, but this time is different. Now I can definitely hear the change in myself. That lump is still in my chest, but now my arms don’t feel as heavy. Continue. I had to. It was like finding the antidote to my drug. Next? “You’re like Oxygen”. Now my head feels lighter. I try to keep thoughts of them our of my head, and succeed in doing so after a few brief moments as the music takes over. Next? Next? “Juliette”. No. Wait. It seems wrong. Skip to “Amigo” instead. It’s not perfect, but soon enough my shoulders start moving with the beat.

“RING DING DONG” cinches it.


i’m cured.