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Tangled Thoughts I Hear

By , Opelousas, LA
It's hard to write a little poem
about my thoughts and hurts.
I stop writing now and then
because it's just a blur.
My mind is jumbled and jammed.
I might just want to scream.
Instead, I take my anger out
on this paper, it seems.
You should know this is a distraction.
I'm not supposed to eat.
I'll get fat. I'll be mad,
and it's me I'll want to beat!
I'll be skinny. Wait for the day.
I'll be happy and free!
Now, it's all I think about.
I'm getting my thoughts out.
You see?!?!?
Here I go. I stopped again.
Five minutes to think.
This is my first poem,
yet, my paper's filled with ink!
Now, I'm tired. It's only 7:35.
I'd love to go outside
and look up at the sky.
It's chill out there.
Maybe tomorrow or the next.
It's the beginning of December.
What do you expect?
Well, goodnight my friend.
Wherever you are.
I'll wish to meet you one day
on the next shooting star.
We'll meet one day.
We shall laugh and cry.
We'll understand each other.
I'll see the hurt in your ours.
You see now?
Goodbye.
Sweet Dreams.
Je T'aime.
I'm giving my brain a rest.
Goodnight little lamb.





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This article has 7 comments. Post your own now!

bigdreamer14 said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Really like this and the bit where you start talking about how your fat and ramble and then straighten yourself out to tell us that you have done that again. It's really well written. However, I think you can minimize some of the good-byes that you have added. Overall, excellent work and, just like someone mentioned, if this really is your first poem, than this is exceptionally well done. =)
 
DrDoofenTess said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 1:39 am

i can really feel the commotion of thoughts in ur head ... feel the emotions crowding inside of you when i read what u write ....hope you meet that friend who can help you with ur hurt n share a couple of moments of happiness with u

and talkin about it as a writen piece ..... it very subtly puts across what u feel without doing it soo pointedly . and REALLY good for a first poem

explore yourself and your emotions .... and keep that pen and paper ready for those perfect line... (more »)

 
peachy37 replied...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Thank you!
 
shakes2011 said...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Love it! Very real and interesting...
 
peachy37 replied...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Thank you so much! :)
 
FireandWater This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 10:32 am
very cute, funny, and you can see a picture in it.  poems should always paint either a picture, an emotion, a sound or a texture.  this is good.
 
hurshikissx3 said...
Jan. 17, 2011 at 9:15 pm
cute! If it really is your first poem, impressive!
 
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