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Suffocation

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I love you too,
You worthlessness of hate and disgust
Pursuing self-gain for the sole sake of lust
Just push me aside, a doll in the dust
with no caution sign or time to adjust.

Deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Inhale.
Inhalation of lies, of cries and goodbyes
Excuses lacking explanations of whys?
Immediate switch from want to despise.

I remember the day you picked me up, by the skin on my back
And as my spine began to crumble, you placed me into the palm of your hand
(a soft surface, warm to the touch)
And told me to trace the creases of the floor with my fingertips;
By the time I was finished, a decision would be made.

Take me back?

My body too frail, an ashen complexion
Placed in this chamber, a loss of connection
Grey hands mold to steel bars, a form of protection?
Or a division of sanity, for craving affection?

I am a silhouette stationed behind layers of adversity.
It isn’t until I hear you voice that I seem to gain existence.
You call my name and the shadows disperse.

Approach the borderline.
Your pupils are scarlet,
Like the edges of a setting sun, or the core of an inferno.

Lips gain moisture as bones gain strength.
A pitcher of water, secured between your palms.
Reach through the bars to rescue me, be my savor.

You drop it.

Ceramic shatters penetrate my soles
before I can scream you switch off the controls
and from the ankles I dangle
my mind in a knot, too tight to untangle,
another dark spot?

Move me from the palm of your hand into your back pocket, and there, I will suffocate.





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