Customer Service Encounters

January 2, 2011
Dear the impatient customer,
Fiercely walking to the counter,
Avoiding eye contact,
Spitting out the order in a robotic fashion.
Saying “this is to go” after every sentence.
Interrupting every question I have to ask,
Then stating that I ask a lot of questions.
Hey, I’ve got news for you!
I have to ask those questions! Oh, and another thing,
You are annoying.

Dear the romantic customers,
Kissing in line,
Clutching on to one another like it’s the last time,
Ordering the same meal,
Can’t decide what name to give me,
The boys or the girls.
You are annoying.

Dear the ambiguous customer,
Saying “I want a bagel”
Or “I want a bowl of soup”.
That’s great, but what kind.
I can’t read your mind and I don’t know what you enjoy.
You are annoying.

Dear the flirtatious customer,
Walking up to me and winking,
Pushing your face too far over the counter,
The older, wrinkly ones say,
“Wow, what a pretty name
Brianna, Brianna, Brianna
How do you pronounce that”?
The younger, usually creepier ones say,
“I’ll have whatever you recommend”
Please back away from the counter,
I am scared for my life.
You are annoying.

Dear the picky customer,
No onions, No mayo,
Extra tomatoes, Cheese on the side.
Double toast this,
Reheat that.
The coffee’s expired by 5 minutes.
I don’t care.
You are annoying.

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