You Were NEVER My Mother

November 18, 2010
By Anonymous

I know what you’re doing.
You love to torture me.
To hold everything over me,
Like I’m an animal begging for food.
You’re waiting for me to slip up-
To make one mistake-
So you can cut this thin rope that I desperately cling to;
The rope that keeps me afloat,
In this river we call life.
You treat me so different than the others,
And I’m tired of trying to please you;
Tired of taking your place as the mother of my siblings,
But you don’t care;
You only see what you want-
You only hear what you want-
And you think you’re always right.
I don’t want to travel on this path that you force me to take any longer!
I’m tired of being the mother and you being the teen.
How did our roles switch?
This is not how it’s meant to be!
You think that I’ll sit here quietly and take it…
Oh, how wrong you are!
You think you can get away with anything,
And when your world comes crashing down,
I’ll stand in the ruins and gloat.
You were never my mother.
I remember when you beat me as a child.
You swear you never did,
But how can that be?
I’m afraid of water because of you,
So don’t give me the bull you never did,
Because I remember.
Oh, yes, I remember.
I wonder if you ever loved me,
And deep down I know the answer.
You don’t have to tell me anything anymore because I know it all.
But I will tell you something;
When I am married,
You won’t see me walk down that aisle.
When I have my babies,
You won’t lay eye nor hand upon my child.
And when you die,
I’ll dance and laugh on your grave as you rot in hell,
And I want you to know,
I was a better mother than you ever were to your children,
And you brought all this upon yourself.

The author's comments:
my mother beat me growing up. to this day i remember it but she swears she never did. i was put in foster care and they got me back. dad was never around to see it and never believed me. but i remember it all. i became a mother to my 2bros and 2sis at around age 11 as she left and went out with men while she was still married adn nothing i do ever is enuf for her.

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