Hope(less)

January 1, 2011
By theheartoflizz PLATINUM, Aurora, Colorado
theheartoflizz PLATINUM, Aurora, Colorado
21 articles 31 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think the only reason people hold on to memories so tightly is because memories are the only things that don't change, when everything and everyone else does."


Why I still think about you,
I don't really know.
Maybe it's the way
that you held me.

Why I still dream about you,
it's a mystery you see.
Perhaps it's because
you used to lay here
next to me.

But why I still love you,
oh darlin' it's
perfectly clear.

You were my first love.
My first glimpse
of true happiness.

You were a melodic tune
that brought a beautiful
soundtrack to my life.

The way you kissed me
was like no other.
With your lovely
soft lips
You were irresistible.

You were were the bright colors
that painted my heart.

Yet you were the storm
that shook me.
The lightning that
shocked me.
And left every hair
standing straight up.

So why don't I hate you?
Why can't I find it in me
to despise you?

Why would I take you back?
And forget everything?

Does the good outweigh the bad?
Or am I just a hopeless romantic,
lost in the sea of love?


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This article has 3 comments.


Eirias SILVER said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 1:31 pm
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you wish to be a writer, write" -Epictetus

Okay. I'd change line 4 to "you've held me"

I'd change "about" to "of," it's one less syllable.

 

But why I still love you,

THAT, my darlin',

is perfectly clear.

 

More syllables in the last line of stanza 4: Maybe "of fickle happiness"?

I'd change the last line of stanza 6 to just "Irresistable," and end the sentence in the previous line, combining it to "With your lovely soft lips. /Irresistable"

"Why can't I find it in me" doesn'r really work for me.

last stanza: change "the" to "your'

Change "romantic" to a word with the accent in the first part of the word.


on Jan. 12 2011 at 11:25 pm
LuminaLorelei SILVER, Port Orchard, Washington
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Wow... This poem trully shook me! Made my skin prickle at my own memories. This is amazing! Thank you for sharing this.

on Jan. 12 2011 at 10:32 pm
emilllydubinn SILVER, Marlboro, New Jersey
9 articles 2 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
photograpy is about stopping the world in its tracks, but poetry is about capturing the world in motion.

SO WEIRD- i just posted a poem with the exact same name. check it out!

and i really liked this piece(:



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