Fearful vigil

December 30, 2010
By SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"


Bite the inside of my cheek all the whole time,
Fearful wonder

Hopeful hurt.

The taste of blood slowly seeps into my mouth

Metallic.

What is wrong with my blood?

Is blood supposed to taste metallic?

Little shards of invisible metal
Break the skin on the inside of my cheek.

Worry overcomes me
Nervous

Fear

Sadness

Overwhelming

Everything.

Tears, tears, how I long for tears
To run down my face
And lift emotions that weigh too heavily on my shoulders.

But cannot they come?

The shadowy blanket of night
And all asleep
But me.

Writing for answers I am.

Looking at your work,

Loving it

Losing in it.

Thinking it like me,
All of it.

Sleep is not wanted.

For if I sleep,

Tomorrow it shall bring
The haunting morrow
Of unwanted fate
To bring me where I never belonged.

Must

Stay

Awake.



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This article has 6 comments.


on Mar. 22 2015 at 11:33 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

I think there are a lot of themes here and perhaps they could be better represented as separate poems? For example, I really liked the "Hopeful Hurt" part, and the "metallic" bit, but I think they would be better separately. Then again, that's just me.

on Mar. 22 2012 at 1:07 pm
Depressed-Ness SILVER, Yuma, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can wish apon a star, but only you can make the dream come true.

You dont need boys, boys need you.

Man. That poem rocks.

on Mar. 12 2011 at 1:00 am
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

That doesn't sound stupid, B. It's part of the stylistics, like you mentioned in your response. Thanks for the complement. C:

on Mar. 11 2011 at 7:40 am
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 488 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)
"Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

This is really good :) I loved the seperation inbetween the words (I know that sounds kind've stupid) but it really built the anticipation and set the mood.

on Feb. 16 2011 at 7:59 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

What made you so confused in specific? Maybe I can try to un-confuse you.

Coffee BRONZE said...
on Feb. 16 2011 at 5:37 pm
Coffee BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
4 articles 5 photos 184 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your Face.

I thought it was a good poem. and the wording and flow were pretty good too. :)

I will admit that i was a little confused by the whole metallic blood thing, but i don't write poems, so im probably not great at reading them either, haha



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