Another Dark Tale

Hello and how do you do?
All that jazz,
I know, introductions,
But I came here for one thing
Only.

I have yet another tale,
Another dark tale to tell.
One about my mind
And what it contains,
Contains what I knew not.

Who would have known
Such an innocent exterior
Had such a deadly interior.
Do not all great writers
Have that poisonous state of mind?

The dark started it all,
Perhaps it was the loneliness
Or the early time of the morn.
Maybe that is what started,
Started this dark tale.

No inspiration,
Write I could not.
Trembling hands
And a falling high.
Barely holding the pen.

Writer's block
I guess they call it.
So I closed my eyes
And let myself be taken
By my own black mind.

Such painful memories
Of which had somehow been
Dreadfully, gratefully blocked,
Came rushing back,
So fast.

Drugs can mess you up,
Let me tell you.
Paranoia and anger.
All the anger came rushing back
And I discovered something crude.

Do you know what it means
To bottle up an emotion?
I do it constantly,
Bad habits die hard.
I bottle up hatred and anger.

Hatred I discovered,
Though I so dearly hate
To admit it.
I hate.
I hate the innocent.

Jealousy is such a beautiful thing,
Such a hideous thing.
It creates love and hate
And everything in-between.
Jealous am I.

Jealous of the innocent
Am I.
The oblivious and the ignorant
Who somehow find an excuse
For any cruelty they see.

Blind, they are, to people like me.
People who watch them,
Watch them.
People who hate them
With all of our souls.

Jealousy, I wish I could be like that.
Ignorant, oblivious, innocent,
But seen too much I have.
Wish I had not, perhaps then
I would not always expect the worse.

Unbelievable anger,
I found it.
Wish I had not
Because I know now
What a horrible person I am.

I keep telling everyone I am okay,
I've found my peace, I'm happy.
But if you ever get the chance,
The chance to see my soul,
Run away.

Because the aching,
Hideous chaos inside the nutshell
Will swallow you greatfully,
Like a hungry murderer
On the prowl.

If only I could show you,
I want to show you,
But I do not want to show you
What an ugly,
Convincing liar I am.

Run away.
Save yourself.
For once I am finally telling you,
For once pleading with you am I,
Leave me for dead.

A dark tale,
A tale that tells of a state of mind,
Some kind of mental suicide.
A hidden hateful woman
Has finally been left for dead.

Goodbye, have a fine day.
Never forget that tale
That a half-dead woman
Once told you about how she was destroyed.
Leave the hate behind.





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