cutting you cutting me

December 20, 2010
You say you understand it all but the truth is you don’t understand any of it...i tell you that i try to stop but it is much harder than it looks, i have tryed for so long to be strong for you and everybody elses. You want to comfort me but you have no idea the silent screams i go threw everyday.
You have no idea how hard it is to look at my self and see every were the blade has been. And want to cry because i know can never go back and redo those days that i have done, i want to take it all back but the sad truth is i know i can’t and i think it is harder for you to understand that.
the silent daemons inside scream to get out every time im upset. i have to control because you say you should be enough to comfort me threw it all but you cant .. my arms say how could i, my legs say look you fond a new place to hide all your fates here.
my words my look like im happy and okay but the scares on me tell a whole new story the first cut tells what i tryed to do the sceoned one tells how i was dissponted in my self doing it again but then came the twelve and the sixteenth and now i have no more word to tell me how i could stop this maddens it has taken me over and i wish i could stop it but when i do it seem the chain of chaos pull me write back into it there is no escaping my fate i have now
so dont try to tell me you have any idea what im going threw beacuse you have no idea you have no idea what feels like to close your eyes and let the red ribbion fall from your arms. when you have no idea what if feels like to bite your lip and regert you being here .. so dont
tell me any more of theses lies..

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hope95 said...
Mar. 5, 2011 at 10:56 pm
wow. i rlly dont kno wat 2 say but this is good... well not wat happened but ow u expressed itt.... i had started cutting n kno i have quit but there r still those times wen i rlly wish i could grab any type of sharp object n just start all ovr again. i love ur writings n hope u keep writing cuz i can rlly relate 2 everything u write.
billlover420 replied...
Mar. 6, 2011 at 3:07 pm
thanks you soo much it means alot to me :) and yeah i have like 2 compstioon books filled with writting that i have writtin and yeah i will keep writting. yeah i knw what you mean i rlly do :)
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