Conflicting Emotions

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be with me, if you'll never leave me
better yet, leave me, so you never have the chance to hurt me
you say you'll love me forever
for that I'll hold you close and dear
for that I'll love you
the future then comes to mind, unstable, unexpected
for that, I push you back
for that I run away
I'm looking for love in a desperate endless search
only to toss away every eligible chance, from fear
fear of being left, fear of being hurt
it's happened before and I don't think I could bear if it happened again
the nightmares of my past
causing conflicting emotions,
overruling my better judgment
controlling my future.





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