Dance of the River

December 24, 2010
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Here I lay
Battered by the waves
Bashing against the rocks
Arms and legs
At unnatural angles
Separate from me

My vision
Branches and leaves
Fly by my
In a crazy
Chaotic dance
Of the river

Above me
Is lacy white
Floating and bubbly
Below me
Is the still
Deceptive dark
Calling me down
To a peaceful rest

As my eyes begin
To close
Just as I decide
To give up
I am pulled out
Of the dance
Fire spreads through
My body
The pain
Is unbearable
But I bear it
Because it tells me


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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

samiasaskia24 said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Different from the Wolf, but just as wonderful!!!!
Robyn97 replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 4:25 pm
=) Thank you ever so much.
samiasaskia24 replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 6:28 pm
you are absolutely welcome!
Alon_Freevoice said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:58 am
I agree that sometimes pain is what makes us alive... Good job in this poem!!!
Alon_Freevoice replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 5:00 am
And shouldn't separate in the first stanza be separated?
Robyn97 replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 11:42 am

Thank you so much!

It really depends on what meaning you're looking for. Seperate (for me, at least) implied a mental distinction; the person isn't thinking of them as her limbs anymore. Seperated would imply that they've been (shudder) removed. Either one would work, though.

kf00zy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 2, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Nice poem. It is quite a scary thought: what would it be like to be stuck in a river. And then I like the end... pain makes alive? makes us human? I think you have a lot to play with in this poem.
Piano_Phantom replied...
Jun. 2, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Thank you. The poem started as a writing exercise, but turned into something else. Not quite sure what.

Anyway, thanks again.

theheartoflizz said...
Jan. 10, 2011 at 4:47 pm
This is wonderfully written, and very powerful. I loved to imagery in this poem,and the last line gives you chills. I don't think this is depressing, more so a beautifl darkness. I love it! :)
Lonewolf1213 replied...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 9:08 am
Thank you so much!
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