Dance of the River | Teen Ink

Dance of the River

December 24, 2010
By Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 340 comments

Favorite Quote:
*beepbeep*
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."


Here I lay
Limp
Malleable
Battered by the waves
Bashing against the rocks
Arms and legs
Floating
At unnatural angles
Unbidden
Separate from me

My vision
Cloudy
Branches and leaves
Fly by my
In a crazy
Chaotic dance
Of the river

Above me
Is lacy white
Heavenly
Floating and bubbly
Below me
Is the still
Deceptive dark
Calling me down
To a peaceful rest

As my eyes begin
To close
Just as I decide
To give up
I am pulled out
Of the dance
Fire spreads through
My body
The pain
Is unbearable
But I bear it
Because it tells me

I'm
Alive


The author's comments:
I was eating dinner next to the river, and wondering what it would be like to be stuck in said river. Besides; I wanted to capture the deadly beauty of the falls, and it reminded me of a dance.

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This article has 10 comments.


on Jul. 23 2011 at 6:28 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

you are absolutely welcome!

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 4:25 pm
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 340 comments

Favorite Quote:
*beepbeep*
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

=) Thank you ever so much.

on Jul. 23 2011 at 3:42 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

Different from the Wolf, but just as wonderful!!!!

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Jul. 21 2011 at 11:42 am
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 340 comments

Favorite Quote:
*beepbeep*
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

Thank you so much!

It really depends on what meaning you're looking for. Seperate (for me, at least) implied a mental distinction; the person isn't thinking of them as her limbs anymore. Seperated would imply that they've been (shudder) removed. Either one would work, though.


on Jul. 21 2011 at 5:00 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

And shouldn't separate in the first stanza be separated?

on Jul. 21 2011 at 4:58 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

I agree that sometimes pain is what makes us alive... Good job in this poem!!!

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Jun. 2 2011 at 5:19 pm
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 340 comments

Favorite Quote:
*beepbeep*
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

Thank you. The poem started as a writing exercise, but turned into something else. Not quite sure what.

Anyway, thanks again.


on Jun. 2 2011 at 4:20 pm
Kfuzesi13 SILVER, Someplace, New Jersey
5 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right."
-Markus Zusak, The Book Theif

Nice poem. It is quite a scary thought: what would it be like to be stuck in a river. And then I like the end... pain makes alive? makes us human? I think you have a lot to play with in this poem.

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Jan. 11 2011 at 9:08 am
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 340 comments

Favorite Quote:
*beepbeep*
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

Thank you so much!

on Jan. 10 2011 at 4:47 pm
theheartoflizz PLATINUM, Aurora, Colorado
21 articles 31 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think the only reason people hold on to memories so tightly is because memories are the only things that don't change, when everything and everyone else does."

This is wonderfully written, and very powerful. I loved to imagery in this poem,and the last line gives you chills. I don't think this is depressing, more so a beautifl darkness. I love it! :)


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