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Perfect Family Lost
As a little kid ,in your mind,you have the image of a perfect family.
you always think about the good times and never the bad.
in your mind you never imagine your family as being fallin leaves from a tree that could not hang on any longer and you never think about losing someone so close to you.
as a child i always imagined myself as being famous.
the girl that everyone wished they were.
i imagined my whole family being their to watch me.
but as i grew up i learned that life is not always the perfect fairy taile.
your wonderful stories are buried so deep that their never are able to be found again.
a smile hides everything.
still my storys live untold.
theirs so many past memories im so glad i remember
yet theirs not many of them to share
but wene i think of the bad times,
and the memories i wish i never could remember
theirs just to many to forget.
wene i think about the good times i think of my parents together,at the park hand in hand sitting on the grass gigling,i think of them being in love.i always remember how great and happy we were.how wonderful and perfect we were.
but when i think about it again
i think about how did something so great become something that does not even exist anymore?
i go through old albums that i never should have found.
albums that were ment to be locked in a room and caught on fire.
those photos didnt mean anything.
they were just lies captured at a good moment
and sealed they couldnt change their positions.
i look at how wondeful are family photos are
but then i ask to myself, what happened to that wonderful use to be family
then i remember
those photos were just fake smiles.
wene people would look at us, they would just see a great loving family
but they never new what happened behind closed doors
they never imagined how are family lived two completly diffrent lifes
one full of fake smiles for friends and family to see
and then another one full of tears
tears that did not have a reason to be cryed out
tears that just left scars
scars that will never be able to find a way to heal
each tear had a diffrent reason to fall
because they would fight,because they divorced,because they couldnt decide who i would belong to
when i think of the good times
i think of how wonderful every weekend was for me
how are 'perfect' family would never stay home
we would always just travel around and just waiste time
i remeber sitting in the backseat with my head out the window just feeling the wind hit my young soft cheeks
how my moms hair would just be flying back
how i would be able to see my mom and dads hand holding one anothers having that vibe of love like i felt the wind aqainst my cheeks.
but yet their mouths were full of hatefull words.
theirs mouths were enemies fighting back and fourth with the same words in just diffrent ways
i still remeber the time she left
i was in the room sitting in the corner trying to block my ears from the loud yelling i heard in the other room
the crashing noises of objects being thrown from one end of the room to the other.
i remember her coming in the room crying
grabbing her bag
i still can feel the kiss she gave me on my forehead
i still remeber how the door slammed shut right behind her.
that was the end of fake smiles
the end on tears being cryed
as i grew up i realized
all you think about is the bad times
rarley the good
in your mind your so scared of loosing the closest people you have to you
nomatter what, your never able to put a torn picture back together again the same as it was in the begining
you dont imagine yourself as being famous anymore
your whole family wont be their to watch you move on in life
you have to learn that life is reality
and you have to realize that its not always perfect
people who have their family together dont cherish it and dont appreciate what they have until they loose it
if only i would ahve known that as a child
i learned that i just have to stop crying tears and dreaming dreams that wont exist
because when somehtings so great
and it crumbles into little pieces
their never able to be found ever again.