The other day I was standing at my brother-in-laws car with my eyes closed and a huge smile on my face. I was waiting for him to say “open” and I’d see my birthday present. Finally, he said “open” and my eyes opened with excitement but my smile soon turned to a frown - a fish tank. A brand new 10 gallon fish tank. I don’t like fish! Fish are pretty and calming to watch but fish die…and fast! One morning you’ll wake up and it will just be floating at the top of the tank. I don’t like loving something that I know is going to leave me eventually. I guess that says something about who I am. I try to keep my distance so I don’t get hurt. Probably something from a past life haunting my mind. I hope it doesn’t affect my “love life” this time. Is it better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all? If you fell in love with someone and found out he had six weeks to live would you spend every moment with him or leave him right then in fear of being even more sad after he’s gone because you grew to love him so much? I don’t know what I’d do. It’s a scary world with all this death and disease. Then if you were to find out your dying you’d probably feel bad about the people that love you having this dilemma. I guess I’ll keep the fish tank and enjoy the beauty and peacefulness that comes with my fish. Because that’s all you can really do in this world, just enjoy, laugh, love, find peace, dance, sing, anything that makes you happy. Death is inevitable and whether you enjoy life or not, you’re going to die someday. And when you do, you’re going to want to remember those good old days sitting at home with hot cocoa in your hand and a snowstorm raging outside, and watching your fish tank.
The Inevitable Fishtank
December 14, 2010