Finally (10-22-09)

Smiles happen so much...
I can have fun now,
And drop my old crutch.
A laugh is not uncommon.
And when I wake up,
I don't dread having to see myself in the mirror.
My eyes look so much brighter,
And I don't feel so unsure.
And when I smile it isn't fake,
It's genuine.
And only for my sake.
Suddenly, I don't have to put up with anyone's crap,
Because I have more friends then I thought I did.
I find myself being responsible,
Instead of acting like some kid.
For once, I don't feel alone, or unwanted,
Because the people I love, love me back.
Everything is so bright,
When your world isn't painted in black.
And I can let go...
Of what I held so tightly;
Things that needed to die long ago,
Things that were never true.
I can stand tall and fight for myself;
I don't need someone to fight my battles, thank you.
I have confidence that was never there before.
And I find that things that would have worried me,
Don't bother me anymore.
It could be just my overactive imagination,
But I'm happy...
On the verge of elation.
I think....finally,
After so many years...
Through all the pain,
And the tears.
I think I'm learning to love myself.





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