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Ashes of a Symphony

I wanna cry, but there’s nothing to cry about.

I wanna live, but I watch the words swirl and evaporate and realize that my options are limited.

I’m confined, relative, but curious.

How did I end up here?

Strumming this guitar with numbed fingers.

But I don’t make music.

I need something to fill the silence.

Hums and pirouettes, I miss the way you were.

Where night faded into those dusty rooftops.

Where I could scream and the only change was the way I felt.

I hate who we’ve become.

And I can’t remember the times

Where I didn’t stare at the moon

Waiting for the sunlight to take it away.

My footsteps crinkle the warm ivory keys.

And I long for a time where ease came with innocence.

When white doves circled these tired wildflower fields.

Ablaze with madness.

I don’t dare to choke the words.

As I guzzle the dynamite

I cough and the glances I’m receiving were never worth the effort I spent to defend myself.

And I try to envelope myself in beauty, and find myself striving for the edges.

Where the ink smears, and the image blurs, and I can’t tell the difference between beauty and nothingness.

“It’s alright.”

They dare to call. And those voices from the wings, cracking as they whisper, they are meaningless.

You’re locked in your ways, and I hold the key.

I want to throw it away, and yet once glance and the keys are in your hands.

My teeth are clenched because we did worse than let this go.

I broke my promise.

You broke my trust.

I’m begging you to let dead dogs lie.

And you’re promising me I’ll live to regret every word.

I can’t even begin to understand.

How we ended this way.

But I can’t backbend.

Those stars are singing.

My pace is set, and I can’t wait.

Chance.

Chance.


Chance.

Falling quickly.

I make a promise.

And my self control fades.

Where have you gone?

So quick to remember where we were when we fell.

But our yellow memories

Have faded to grey in your mind.

Did you know this hurts?

I cannot forget and yet my pillow won’t let me remember.

Sing me to sleep.

A twisted lullabye.

Full of memories, full of lies.

Let me hear the piano soar.

I wanted freedom, I got more.

I sit and close my tired eyes.

It’s familiar.

It’s what you’ve done.

Forgive me for forgetting to say goodbye.





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