Riddle of A Feeling

December 9, 2010
By Vidra PLATINUM, Midlothian, Virginia
Vidra PLATINUM, Midlothian, Virginia
46 articles 17 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I write only because
There is a voice within me
That will not be still.”
-Sylvia Plath


It’s a child.
Waiting for the monsters to pop out of the closet
With piercing screams and then silence
The “deer in the headlights" look
And along with the air you breathe in after holding your breath,
It’s harsh and freezing, and tastes sharp like ice.
It’s when your throat suddenly gets dry as a bone
And you smell fire and see your reflection in the flame,
Warped and distorted like a ghost
It feels like something died there, or was possessed by a different being.
You taste bitter orange peels
And your eyes glaze over with the feeling you get right before you hear bad news
Someone gulps loudly and your hands shake uncontrollably.
You are falling and hitting the ground with a force so intense, it can’t be explained.
It’s shock.
And anxiety
And your whole body feels as if it has been drained completely of everything
And your face goes so pale
You look literally white.
And you aren’t very sure if you can sleep through the night.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Feb. 15 2011 at 4:22 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Wonderful! :)

Vidra PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2011 at 10:41 am
Vidra PLATINUM, Midlothian, Virginia
46 articles 17 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I write only because
There is a voice within me
That will not be still.”
-Sylvia Plath

Thank you so much for reading! :) And I wasn't really trying to give it much structure, it was just mostly examples of fear. But now that you mention it, in the beginning it does start out as a kind of story, so maybe I could revise it to go along with that. Again, thank you for the advice! :)

on Jan. 15 2011 at 3:19 pm
thedegraded SILVER, Medford, New York
6 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Wonderful imagery! Reading this, I very much got the sense of dread and anxiety the narrorator was sensing. Towards the middle of the poem though, I kind of felt lost. Everything becomes sort of muddled there. Maybe you could try defining what's going on a bit more clearly. Otherwise, I absolutely love it. The last line is lovely. Keep up the amazing work!

 

cheers!

 



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