I try very hard
not to bring you up
to anyone
because if anyone knows I care
(again)
it will just make me care more
(and I don't want to care more)
I will not ask what you said
who you were with
I will not ask if you were wearing the necklace I made you
I will backspace those unsent messages
and throw away the pictures
that I drew
and delete your number from my phone
even though it doesn't matter
I've had it memorized forever
because 'fake-it-till-you-make-it'
has never failed me before
and I try to keep myself from writing about you
but I'm obviously no good at that
what a flying fail
and I will force iron fingered grasp apart
to look inside my empty fist
to let you go at last
you are already gone anyway
but I just need to accept it
because there is nothing left that I can do
that I haven't done before
and look where that's got us