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Desire

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Blood red lips smile at me
Taunting; teasing
Grinning with glee-filled malice
What does she want this grinning beast?
What does this terrible beauty desire?
I ask this of her and she replies thus

“Desire? Desire. Desire is I, but what I desire is you.”

With this she laughs
White teeth flash silver
Her eyes insane
They bore into mine
She grabs my wrist
Pulling me under

Desire has me now



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TashaSunny said...
Jan. 5, 2011 at 7:36 pm
I like it. I think it is well written and I like the original sentence, but I would not have disliked the 1st one Sessai mentions.  The idea would work well inside of another story too.
 
Sessai said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I like it! I just wanted to say that I've been experiementing with different ways of writing sentences and found this sentence extremely fun to use - 'I ask this of her and she replies thus'

You could also write-

I ask of her this and thus she replies

Or-

I ask her of this, and and thus she replies...

ect. ect. ect. You get the picture 

I thought this was interesting. :) And I really liked this by the way

 
Cuore replied...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Thanks! It would sound better that first way you mentioned it.
 
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