Daddy's Demon

December 2, 2010
By Anonymous

When we go out, we look normal.
No one knows what you’re really like.
You don’t act the same around them.
I guess this must just be a game to you.
They obviously don’t know Daddy’s demon.

The things you do, the way you act.
I wish you could see what you’re doing to me.
You think you’re the perfect father.
You don’t even think about how I feel.
You don’t know that I can see your demon.

I can tell when I look at you that you don’t know.
You don’t know that I’m dying inside.
Slowly but surely, I’m dying.
I want to leave, I want to be done.
But Daddy’s demon doesn’t let me go.

You drink your whiskey,
You smoke your Gold Ultra Light 100’s,
like it’s no big deal.
It is a big deal, because you’re dying.
Slowly, Daddy’s monster takes over.

Daddy’s demon begins to control you.
You’re not the man I remember.
You’re not the man I used to call Daddy.
You’ve changed so much over 10 years.
Daddy’s demon is growing.
Growing away from me.

I wish we could go back to the way it used to be.
Back to the days when we would go out and have fun.
Back to the days when I understood you.
When you were happy without the alcohol, and cigarettes.
Before Daddy’s Demon existed.

You drink and you smoke.
Like you think it’s just a joke.
Is my life a joke to you?
Please tell me if it is.
Daddy’s demon is swallowing you whole.

You’ve never been there for me.
You always lie
You say you will, but I know inside that you won’t
I’m waiting, just to see what lie comes next.
Daddy’s demon is a liar.

I can tell you use me.
Just for money.
I buy you what you need.
Just to see you succeed.
Daddy’s demon is growing inside.

I’m sitting at school events, all alone.
They ask me where my father is.
I say, “What father? I don’t have one.”
He’s dead to me.
Daddy’s monster has taken over you.

I’m sitting here, by myself.
Thinking about you, and the way we used to be.
Back to the days before there was a demon.
I can’t really remember.
It’s too foggy to see.
Those days were so long ago.
All I remember is Daddy’s demon.

The author's comments:
My biological father is an alcoholic, and is a severe smoker. I wrote this a few weeks after I stopped talking to him.

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