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December 5, 2010
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When I was four
When I was seven
When I was ten
When I was thirteen
Yesterday
I daydreamed about the future
I wouldn’t change a bit
I wouldn’t morph into a butterfly
While I was wrapped in my school cocoon
I’d only stay that little furry caterpillar
Crawling around a tree

I’ve never gazed into a crystal ball
Time-warping me back to the past
Observed how I was
Analyzed my actions
Concluded that memory
With a mature point of view
I know I have changed
But my memories haven’t

When I hold my baby blanket
I still love it and hug it to me
Without hesitation
With inexplicable affection
I sleep with it every night
Smelling it
Feeling it
Rubbing it
Even dreaming of it
I promised myself
When I was quite small
That my Blankie will go with me to the grave
So I can sleep with it forever

I look out my bedroom window
The scenery stays constant
Even as the seasons change
Even as the years go by
Now there is an added beauty
When the sky shines bright
Or the snow falls gently
Or the wind whisks through trees
Or the rain soaks the grass
Still, I look out my window

Delving into my childhood
I hold my old dolls
Nothing has changed
Still, an unfathomable clothes collection
A secret life with their friends
A hidden personality
A huge house to use at their disposal
A never ending road to their parties
My imagination never abandoned me

I was a small bunny
Hip-hopping around a sweet smelling building
The carpet, light colored
Every room, filled
With buckets of flowers
All red, yellow, white, and purple
The lamps, small and geometrical
My breath came fast
The air was heavy with a sleepy somberness
I wandered around unknowingly
As tall people slowly and silently mingled
Sometimes a few went glanced in a big box
Other times they knelt by it
Mystified, my parents dragged me to the box
I swooned because of the reeking perfume
They knelt down
I stood and peered into the box
A person with squished and flat features
Slept with hands on their tummy
I didn’t understand
My parents told me to ask no questions
Henceforth, I found other kids
For entertainment

I understand now
I’m supposed to be somber
I’m not supposed to have fun
Still, I invite my friends
Still, I find a quiet place
To laugh with my cousins
Kids my age
I already said bye-bye





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