The Battle

December 5, 2010
By Anonymous

At first,
I wanted to stop,
Stop eating forever,
I wanted to become skinny,
I wanted to be bones and skin,
Without meat and fat in between,
I wanted to excersice to burn off the calories,
I wanted to become nothing,
I didn't want to be more than 100,
I wanted to be under 90,

Finally, after 237 days,
The weight, the meat, the fat, the everything was gone,
I WAS, nothing
just like i wished,
I was skinny, i wasn't fat or chunky in any way,
I was finally proud, I was proud of what I had become

But I wanted to start,
Start eating,
People threatened to stop loving me, stop caring, and worse start forgetting me,
I had to do something,
But my skin and bones felt so good,
I didn't want to give up the hard work,
The effort,
The way I changed my life from 100 to 90 was drastic,
I wanted to be 120, Just so people would start caring again,

Then, the battle started,
I ate, and I didn't eat,
I didn't want to give up,
But I did want people in my life,
The Pain I had gone through to get below90, Was all gone I gained,
I gained weight,
But, finally, I also gained love, friends, and family back,
As, soon as I gained the things I wanted, I wanted to lose more weight

But, I didn't want to take another chance,
I had finally gained weight and respect,
I won,
I won the battle,
Anorexia could not and would not beat me,
I felt even more accomplished then when I was skinny,
But, the truth,
I miss the starvation,
The hunger,
The pain,
I wish I was nothing again,
I wanted to be below 90,
But, now the battles over,
I won, and was proud,
I guess,
I won, the fight,

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