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Roller Coaster Days ( social anxiety )

up, down
smile, frown
lookin at life through the tears of a clown
i've never been a 'go with the flow' girl
letting life roll
off my back
in fact,
I've never been able to relax
never been able to accept the fact
that my family and friends might have my back.
unable to trust my emotions
they spin out of control
not only hurting me, they
hurt the ones I hold close,
I live for the emotional highs
and try
to survive what comes next.
Cause everything that goes up, must come down.
The inevitable crash
falling flat on my a**
dazedly I look around
for someone,
anyone,
to pick me up off the ground.
And what I've found
to be fact
is that, the effort it takes to keep my sanity intact
leaves me drained
It becomes almost too much to contain the pain
my dreams of rising to fame
bow down in shame
to the might of ANXIETY
it triumphs over me
only
because i
let it.
Sitting here feelin sorry for myself and complainin
instead of gettin up, goin out, and trying hard to change it.
because I CAN make it
but it's gotta start with me
only I can decide
my destiny





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