What does my heart mean to you?
Do you think of it as an item of immense value?
Worthy of a golden throne?
Or is it just like one of our memories?
Lost and buried in the sands of time.
Once the beating was silenced,
It became a distant dream,
Once filled with excitement and joy
Where did my excitement go?
Did it disappear the day that my tears wouldn’t stop falling?
The day you made me wish I didn’t exist?
The same day I crawled back into your arms?
It forces me to believe that hope is just another fairy tale
Scared and bound into the colorful pages
That some children find amusing.
But would they continue to smile and laugh if they knew
Each word and shade of black
Is a part of my soul
With my heart bound in these books
That I have long forgotten about?
One morning and I woke up with the realization
That I was never a child
I was on the train from innocent to corrupted and I arrived in just a few
Short days.
You made sure of that.
From cabbage patch to nicotine patch
In just those few short days.
My heart has been touched by my mother,
My father,
My sister,
Strangers with easy smiles,
Friends with hands hidden behind holding that old stained knife.
My lungs have been stained by
The blood of your voice
The smoke and mirrors.
And now all I want to do is to cleanse my body.
My soul.
And find my way back to the mirror.
The one which I looked in and actually liked what I saw.
I want the map to lead me stumbling back into my
Excitement.
Where my heart is on its rightful
Golden throne.