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A startling beam of light fills my eyes,
As I slowly recover and gaze at the skies.
Sir you need to get out, his faint command in my ear.
A badge and a gun, the same on his peers
Utterly confused, I try grasping what's real.
The buzz of their radios, the contorted steel.
Instantly, thought comes back, everything is made clear.
The world moves ever slower, minutes pass as if years.
The memories of the crash stab at my mind.
The swerve and the flip, the crushed metal grinds.
then silence in the bitter dark, but one image remains,
The look on her face, the shock and bloodstains.
That road so familiar, I ignored the icy bend.
No path to reassurance, no way to make amends.
The ambulance departs after they assess the toll.
After finishing their jobs, praying god rest her soul.
I look back at the scene from the opposite road.
Finally understanding what I've just been told.
Two headlights in the distance shine directly on me.
I shudder but cling to this chance to be free.
Free of the agonizing emptiness to be.
Face to face with my end, a reflection I see,
Of what I once was, am now, and ever shall be,
An ineffable, definite expression of me.
Unreconciled and unforgiven in this life that I flee.