The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn

November 24, 2010
By Jessica Kostka BRONZE, Auburn, California
Jessica Kostka BRONZE, Auburn, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Nothingness consumes me; it’s been there for a while
I close my eyes, yet can’t remember… When did last I smile?
What happened to my laughter? What has my life become?
My face does not reflect my pain: I seem like anyone
By day, I spin a web of lies behind which I can hide
This disguise I wear conceals what I really feel inside
But just beneath the surface, there lies a universe of tears
The world blurs around me: I don’t know if I’m really here
There are rare moments when I believe, just maybe, I’m alive
Conspiring to escape this hell, I begin my endeavor to survive

But then, it all comes rushing back, and I begin to fall
What can make me happy? It seems I can’t recall
Fatigue is devastating me; my mind and body drained
Slipping through the cracks; I’m falling with the rain
Sinking to the bottom with lead weights on my arms
Try as though I might, I find I cannot break the bonds.
I gasp for breath, heart pounding, screaming, but there is no one to hear
Slowly, I am losing myself, to the all-consuming fear

There are many days of darkness, of trying to fight the pain
I summon all my strength, for I cannot lose, only gain
I am desperate; I am drowning, as I am swept away
By icy cold black water, swirling around me where I lay
I can sink no lower; it seems this is my final fight
One last struggle for survival, to stop this never-ending night
One last effort to remind myself who I was meant to be
One last attempt to regain my life, to once again be me

There it is: a ray of sunlight! A spark of hope beyond the strife
My dying embers are rekindled by just one breath: the breath of life
I lift my head to see the sky, and know I’ll be okay
I am not alone, and along this road, I’ll find my way
This was just a struggle over which I must prevail
Life nearly overwhelmed me, but in this it failed
Some things are worth living for, and this is my epiphany
The rain, the fear, the nightmare, now it’s just a memory
Now bring me that horizon, that limitless expanse
Because I am alive now, no longer in a trance
The darkest hour, I’ve found, is always just before the dawn
I know not what awaits me, but I know that I have won.

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