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my mask for everyone but the one i wish to impress the most

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I wake to my empty room
the floor is cold against my sleepy feet as i swing them to the floor
i shuffle to my bathroom and begin to put on my mask
i wonder sometimes why i do
but then i remember how much it hurts to have it off
to feel the stares of others go right through me
to feel the normally hidden piece of my soul only for myself exposed to others
the thud of my heart on the tip of my fingers that dangle at my sides
the bump of another persons shoulder as they pass by
the pain i feel when i look in the mirror and dislike the tears trickling down my face
the red blotches appearing on my skin
my eyes deepening into a whole that no one can see into
i feel lost and everything spins
but i want to feel pain sink into my pores like acid
so i keep walking
the chill of my souls scream sends ice-ickles down my spine shattering every nerve in my body
no, i need my mask
without my mask i am a sad and hopeless being
i am nothing
i am another particle in the air
another ounce of water in the sea
i am a petal in a sunflower field
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing without you
as we enter the house, a calm sheet of setting, floats down to land on our heads
i feel special around you
wether i am or not
wether the mask is on or not
i feel free
i feel unique
i feel loved
i feel like i am someone
because that sentence i love so dearly, slips from your mouth, as you hand me the makeup remover
"i love you"





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