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A trap of trust

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Walking through that door,
Wanting nothing more,
than to please
My heart racing with ease
Excitement pounding in my chest
Trying to do my best
To blend
I didn’t mean to pretend
I knew this world would not be the same
I knew this was not a game
But playing it was so appealing
I was too innocent, too blind,
Too quickly did I leave my life behind
Plunging into a dark cold river
Before I could realize
Where the current would take me
Uncontrollably falling down a water fall
Sinking into a vast lake of drama and lies
Drowning among the victims of rumors
Now the truths are tangled
In this new world everything is angled
Every word sharp enough to stab one in the back
Every action a way to hack
A person’s morals
Leaving them broken and weak
In this world I am now part of
But don’t belong
Where tears run down my cheeks
When trusting goes wrong
I hear whispers
I here shouts
I hear gossip
I hear pouts
I dove into that stream
Not bothering to evaluate the risks I was taking
Like ordering a dish at a restaurant
Assuming I could but failing to eat it all.
Under the dark icy water
I began to lose hope
I wanted to suffer
I felt that fate wanted me to beg for mercy
But I defied fate
I needed the torture
And joined the drama
Whispered,
shouted,
gossiped,
pouted,
And I did suffer
I suffered until I regretted
Now I’m closing my eyes
Only a a miracle could give me the strength to rise
To the surface
To breath once more
I should have begged
And listened to fate
Now I fear it is too late
If only my feet were back on the shore
If only I could walk back through that door.





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