why drowning is easier

November 15, 2010
By , Portland, OR
and my heart is aching
tears are blurring down
my face
bent in a silent scream with my
arms embracing my chest like a curse
and a blessing
the lights that spangle my shuddering reflection
are empty, empty and gone
silver lines of graphite smudged across the sky

turn my life inside-out, hoping
for snow in the morning
looking for reason and rhyme
amid the jumbled chaos of yesterday’s laundry

i can ride this rapid of agony,
coughing and gasping
smelling the depths of the river with every stinging breath
because i am too strong
to not keep my head above the roaring, dysmal flood

but where do i go?
to escape this hollow space
where the bent sounds of guitar strings
a sister’s
a mother’s
a father’s
don’t grip me by the wrist

dragging us all down

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