Last night, thousands of blazing comets departed god’s mouth and fell upon mankind. The earth was freckled with holy drops of spit because god, too, coughs. Subways and grocery-store parking lots and high school natatoriums were crowded with onlookers and refugees alike, while I sat basking in computer screen radiation brainstorming the magnum opus that I would never create. What a sight, I missed. Oh well, I’m a writer.