I press my face against the glass
it is cool
and silent
I let it fill my mind
instead of what's really happening
but I can feel the rain hitting the car
and I let the will drain out of me
with the rain sliding down the window against my face
while I listen to him yelling
it isn't worth it
to fight back
so I just nod
and keep my tears silent
because he will only yell louder if he sees
and there isn't anybody
who doesn't think I'm just seeking
seeking attention
when I bring it up
so I will take the blows
so many verbal blows
with strength and pride
but on the outside
I will pretend to be submissive
and beaten
and small
so he stops
I don't want to fuel him
and when it's over
I will let him think he is my friend
again