October 17, 2010
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I did what I could
I guess
I did it wrong.

The result?
A man with an axe
knocked down my door
and split my heart.

It never seems like something
that could happen
to you

but sometimes
you read the signs wrong

you're on top of the world
you think you have it all-
who said it's not
all pretend
not just
a game?

I learned the hard way
that sometimes
it hits you
like a shot.

All the feeble cliches-
they finally make sense.

I feel the way I thought
you could only feel
in movies or books
or in the stories in

not here.
Not in my heart.
Not where it really hurts.
Not when I could have sworn
I had it all right.

what happened
last night
over analyzing
because that's what I do.

Why does it seem to matter
so much?

It's funny-
I always hated poetry
revolving around
broken hearts
love stories.

Now I see.

it's the only way to get your words out-

in a
because it hurts too much
to just
say it
straight out.

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

AEAluvsanimals said...
Jan. 13, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Wow. Really well written. I'm not great at critiquing poetry, but you conveyed her jangled thoughts and emotions very well.

Can you read my short story What Fools These Mortals be

Be honest if you don't like it or don't like some parts of it, but tell me if you like it

Annerdy said...
Dec. 6, 2010 at 7:00 pm
I really liked the way this poem was structured, because it sets off a tone of surprise, confusion, and recklessness. I think it captured the feeling of unexpected heartbreak very well. I like how the "narrator" comes to a realization and also learns to use poetry to soothe her pain. Nice job. :]
Ellawind replied...
Dec. 6, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Thanks! I appreciate the details you described, it helps me get a feel of what others see when they read this. 
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