Heartbreak

October 17, 2010
By Ellawind PLATINUM, Seattle, Washington
Ellawind PLATINUM, Seattle, Washington
40 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Dream like you will live forever, live like you will die today.


I did what I could
but
I guess
I did it wrong.

The result?
A man with an axe
knocked down my door
and split my heart.

It never seems like something
that could happen
to you

but sometimes
you read the signs wrong
backwards
sideways
upside-down

sometimes
you're on top of the world
you think you have it all-
who said it's not
all pretend
not just
a game?

I learned the hard way
that sometimes
it hits you
unexpected
like a shot.

All the feeble cliches-
they finally make sense.

I feel the way I thought
you could only feel
in movies or books
or in the stories in
magazines-

not here.
Not in my heart.
Not where it really hurts.
Not when I could have sworn
I had it all right.

Over-thinking
what happened
last night
over analyzing
because that's what I do.

Why does it seem to matter
so much?

It's funny-
I always hated poetry
revolving around
broken hearts
and
love stories.

Now I see.

Sometimes
it's the only way to get your words out-

in a
scattered
broken
tongue-
because it hurts too much
to just
say it
straight out.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Jan. 13 2011 at 11:09 pm
AEAluvsanimals SILVER, Yorba Linda, California
6 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All creatures bleed the same blood. He who spills the blood of any of god's creatures, he spills the blood of man." - Private Journals , Landerath
Dragon's Milk.
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."- Dumbledore
Harry Potter 1

Wow. Really well written. I'm not great at critiquing poetry, but you conveyed her jangled thoughts and emotions very well.

Can you read my short story What Fools These Mortals be

Be honest if you don't like it or don't like some parts of it, but tell me if you like it


on Dec. 6 2010 at 9:08 pm
Ellawind PLATINUM, Seattle, Washington
40 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Dream like you will live forever, live like you will die today.

Thanks! I appreciate the details you described, it helps me get a feel of what others see when they read this. 

Annerdy BRONZE said...
on Dec. 6 2010 at 7:00 pm
Annerdy BRONZE, San Francisco, California
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments
I really liked the way this poem was structured, because it sets off a tone of surprise, confusion, and recklessness. I think it captured the feeling of unexpected heartbreak very well. I like how the "narrator" comes to a realization and also learns to use poetry to soothe her pain. Nice job. :]


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