Trapped in Self

Tired
my hands
my head
my eyes
my arms
my legs

they are all tired
I am so tired

I feel heavy
My thoughts weigh down my head
My baggage weigh down my legs
My scars weigh down my back
Dragging me

I am trapped or lost
in myself
Trapped in my lies
Lost in my thoughts
Trapped in my smiles
Lost in my expectations

I am trapped and suffocating
in me
I yearn for freedom
I try to fight
a way out of me
I've tried for so long
fought for so long
I'm tired
I wish I could stop
but only I can beat my self





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OriginalCarbonation said...
Jan. 4, 2011 at 12:29 am

this is very good. especially the premise, i have written some things on the same idea as well. to improve it i suggest making it flow better, less nouns, more actions and a little punctuation then to clarify. for example the last stanza could become:

I am trapped and suffocating

in me

yearning for freedom;

trying to fight

a way out of me.

been trying for so long

fought for so long

I'm wishing I could stop

but only I can beat myse... (more »)

 
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