Close my eyes and surrender to the darkness.
Wind pounds the window,
The thin barrier between fear and I.
My fears arise,
Search the night once more.

Still I lay,
Let my worries pass by.
I leave this realm,
And enter another with no sound.

Time is slower,
Minutes pass, instead of hours.
I must leave soon,
I may be trapped forever,
The gates to Earth may seal shut.

I would rather live here in fear, with no pain.
No thoughts or control,
But view life like a movie.

Not my time to live in this almost perfect place,
I have a choice.
I must decide soon.
I receive a feeling of dread when the image of large,
Metal gates appear before me.

This means it is time to make a decision,
I’ve made many times before.
Little time,
A big question to answer: Should I stay?

I remember those I love, my friends and family.
My dead grandmother appears before, me alive and well.
I think of all the goodness here and at home,
In comparison of which is better.


Over come with nightmares,
She stares at me,
Commanding me to leave.

I slip through the gates,
Open my eyes.
I replay the illusion that my mind has played on me.
I wish to return, so I close my eyes, though it has no effect.

I shall return again,
Feel rushed and worried in a new way.
Close my eyes to surrender to the darkness.