I can’t bring myself to understand it. to realize that everything i once knew has been altered into something i can’t seem to recognize anymore. in an instant, i couldn’t breathe, the shock pulsed all throughout my veins leaving me in a state of silence. how could i have been so blind, so oblivious, so ridiculous. overwhemled, i let out one breath. filled with pain and humiliation. false hope. i watched as everyone else remained complacent, their eyes burning me with the judgement i had asked for, the judgement that made me collapse. i remain now trapped for the future. for whats going to happen, for what punishment i have coming next. complicated thoughts flood my head causing trauma and distress. i never would have wanted this, illusions seem to exist in reality. i just wish hope did as well.
October 26, 2010