not a word.

October 26, 2010
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i never thought this would have happened. not to me, not like this. its ironic. i sit here as if im alright, as if i can go on and pretend, as if no one will ever know. no one will ever notice. i’ll be fine. convince myself that things like this happen, things like this shouldn’t matter, i should be stronger than things like this. stronger than him. i bury this memory deep within my mind, to where no one has been, to where no one will go. under piles of useless tears and mournful sighs is where it will forever stay. never to cross your lips. as much as i wish i expel it all together i’ve learned that such things are futile and foolish. for whatever reason, i never forget and always remember. to speak would to become someone i’ve tried to avoid someone who always brings out the worst in me, someone vulnerable. silence is where i’ll stay. its the person i’ve been, the person i am, the person i’ll forever be.

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