And I felt your hand squeeze my wrist while you forced me to write my name, against the bathroom wall, as he whispered in my ear and forced me to fall. and I felt myself scratching the floor as you made me say my prayers, while she calmly kissed my cheek. She never knew what you were up to, always keeping me falling behind, from the biggest secret of all, that no one could find. Until the day I peeked in on the doorway and saw your eyes red with your lip quivering in fear. The next time I’ll see you cry won’t be until next year, you have these tall walls to hide your feelings, and I have my brown eyes to conceal mine.
mother, mother, you are not mine, any longer.
November 4, 2010