The Quiet Boy | Teen Ink

The Quiet Boy

October 30, 2010
By TheDarkKnight BRONZE, ONeill, Nebraska
TheDarkKnight BRONZE, ONeill, Nebraska
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

There's a boy down the street
He rarely ever speaks
His parents are divorced
And he just moved to a new town

At school he is the outcast
Which only makes things worse
No one wants him around
They believe that he's a freak

No one knows the pain he feels
Therapy won't help
Because he never has support
Not even from his parents

He knows no one that is like him
He believes that he is all alone
That no one wants him around
Just a simple hello would help
But no one will talk to him
They just keep walking when they see him

A little girl of age five walks down the street
She sees the quiet boy
And walks up to him
She says "Hey mister, are you okay?"
The boy looks up, and smiles
The first smile he has smiled in a long time

From then on the boy always tried to stay on the bright side of life
But he had his struggles
But life always comes with it's struggles
And he will always remember the little girl
Who said hello.


The author's comments:
I wrote this for an open mic. The real reason i wrote this was in light with all of the suicides that have attracted the media's attention. Most of what happens in the poem happened to me. It's still in the process of being fully revised so it's 100% completed. Any advice would help if your willing to give any.

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This article has 5 comments.


on Mar. 17 2012 at 5:01 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Great job, sad. . .

on Apr. 10 2011 at 8:12 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
I think you should chnage the first two lines of the last stanza. Make it a different tense maybe, and get rid of the "but". It's kinda repetitive to have "but" two lines lines in a row.

on Feb. 10 2011 at 5:10 pm
Falling_Farther BRONZE, Jkdvls;afnieow, Maine
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching."

This is pretty darn good :) :P i agree it could flow better but otherwise, good job!! :D

miss you:)

your friend,

suzy:)


on Nov. 26 2010 at 7:14 pm
iluvnacho PLATINUM, Somewhere, Colorado
28 articles 1 photo 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Find the beauty in the ugly\"-Jason Mraz 5-19-10
\"Be kinder than nessicary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.\" Unknown 11-29-10

Aww, this is really sad, but good. I liked how you ended it with the little girl. you should submit more. you're a very good writer in the forums.

AshTree SILVER said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 10:55 pm
AshTree SILVER, Clarksville, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live your art" -made this one up myself. Simple, but true.

I like it, but I think it could flow better. It is a little choppy in some places and you repeat things. And don't forget to show instead of tell! This is really good tho!