What's In My Journal | Teen Ink

What's In My Journal

October 23, 2010
By Anonymous

What is in my journal?
Never ending pages of stories,
About guys I've had the hots for,
and girls.

First crushes and kisses.
Short-term relationships
that I can't count on two hands.
Break-ups and pain
that plunge deep into my heart.

And drama;
Enough to last a life time.

In my journal, I speak
through tear-stained pages
from my heart and mind.

I speak of
Bitterness, arguments, death, love
and more commonly,
depression.

I speak of powerful feelings and expressions,
that cut deep into my wrists, my veins
as they stain the pages crimson red.

I speak of goals I wish to achieve..
And moments of happiness and clarity
That I long to drown in
forever.

I speak of Bible verses and words
of inspiration,
that simply... don't inspire me.

I speak of music singing
or screaming
in my ears,
and the delight and relief it brings.

I speak of how the tips
of my fingers tap the keys
of my antique piano.
until they are content and sore.


I speak of expressing myself
through writing,
and the overflowing pages of
favorite quotes.

I speak of pictures
that I stare into,
that I am lost in
and wish I were there
in them.

I speak of friends
new and old,
and the laughs and fun that come along
with them.
and all the fights we find ourselves getting into.

I speak of forgiveness
But not forgetfulness.

I speak of old times,
memories,
and near death experiences
when I was a child.

I speak of family issues
and my own personal problems.

I speak of lies, guilt, and pain
in which I am smothered in.

I speak of the past
and the life-long struggles
that I can't seem to overcome.
and regret.

I speak of the present
and the mistakes and bad choices
(and good)
that I've made
that have gotten me to this point.

I speak of the future;
Of fear, hope, faith,
and determination.


I speak
until my hand is numb and sore.
until it aches with completion.
until it is
finished.

In my journal...


The author's comments:
I actually wrote this one for an English assignment two years ago (Sophomore year). I don't actually keep a journal but everything mentioned in this poem is what I feel or have gone through.

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