I was only 8 years old
When I watched my beloved nana slowly fade
It started with the ER visit
Ended with the Funeral
I knew she was sick
And I knew she was miserable
Time slowly passes
As anxiousness hangs over you
You come home from school everyday
Asking
Is she ok?
The answer is always the same
We don’t quite know yet
But I knew they did
Somewhere deep
I could feel the end coming around the corner
Monday
She can’t walk
Tuesday
No phone call
Wednesday
She’s in the hospital
Thursday
The answer changes to
It doesn’t look like she’s going to make it
Friday
She’s dead
The fight becomes a loss
As you hope this isn’t real
You want to run away from it
But reality catches you
And leaves you on an endless road
Where the exit is farewell
You take a familiar flight to a place that hosted many good memories
Easter 2002
You remember she was always the best at hiding the egg
Family Reunion 2001
You vaguely remember going to her pool and beating your older brother in a swim race
But this flight was no vacation
Even though you would see all your lively aunts and uncles
Aunt Peggy, Uncle Charlie, and Cousin Lila
But no nana
You don’t get the warm feeling when the pilot says
We will be arriving shortly
Because nana won’t be
When the funeral comes
And You’re sitting in the front row
You get a feeling
That never
Not once
You’ve experienced in this place before
And ever so slowly
A million memories flash through your mind
And then it came to be that on July 16, 2004
It would be the first time I cried in Florida