October 13, 2010
“How did this happen?”
I could ask myself this question one thousand times,
And never find the answer.
So many thoughts cloud my vision.
I remember all those simple times.
When we could share a smile,
When we would laugh together.
When I could wipe away your every tear.
“Where did I go wrong?”
Things I found so distasteful,
So deceitful and horrid.
Have become a normalcy to me now.
And I don’t feel,
Not even the slightest twinge of guilt.
For any of it.
And I know that you’re bringing out the worst in me.
But I don’t want to let go,
Of what we had.
“What’s wrong with me?”
I can taste your last bittersweet kiss on my lips.
And I know that I’ll taste his tomorrow.
His voice will ring in my ears,
And I’ll see his trademark smile.
Again I’ll be in love.
At least for the moment.
I’ll feel my heart breaking with every word that I say.
Knowing that every ‘I love you’ is completely and utterly true.
“You deserve so much more, than what I can give you.”
I’m not the person you used to know.
I can feel what we were,
Fading away.
The closer I get to him,
The farther I am from you.
He’ll always be my addiction.
The drug I just can’t give up.
And I know you’ll never understand…

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