I want something I can never have. Something perfect, something better than I am. Something I need. Something that I will use every last bit of my strength to get, it will be the end of me. I would change anything to get it. It is who I am, or am now. I was different before it. Now I am different because of it. It is like a drug to me. It is not a drug, but it makes me euphonious. It is not bad, this which I seek. It is good. I want to know all there is to know about it. I desire to own it, to have solely to myself. It is my high, my fix. It is part of me. You do not think you know what it is, but you do. If you look deep enough inside yourself, you’ll know.
October 17, 2010