As the clock strikes twelve;
My thoughts come full circle, for once
I understood my dream wouldn’t come true
My mood slipping as lies came out
Making no sense as to why or how
Pain, sorrow, and hurt escaping time
Not yet feeling happy as the new year entered
Anger grew deep inside me
I couldn’t control the fearful sobs
They came out as rage entered
Sleep didn’t come easy with you beside;
Yet so far away- another reminder
Dreams don’t always come true
Packing up, going home, leaving you
Fear entered my veins as wind hit my face
The stressed drive lasted what felt like forever
Wishing I could take back those mindless lies
The lies that lost trust, lessened me
Yet teaching me to be honest
As the silence at home grew
The more separated I felt from you
Later as I remembered to message you, I struggled
Realizing I blamed you for those lies
I needed time, needed to forget
I had lost my dream and it hurt
You had your love in your thoughts
While my love wouldn’t leave my mind
You took up all of my thoughts time
My dream lost, leaving me with nothing
Numbness entered my body followed by sorrow
A confirmed message sent you away, finally
Needing motivation, I packed you away
Folding my pain in sweatshirts, tucked away for good
Letters hidden, memories out of sight
Reminders of you vanished completely
You left my room and slipped out of my mind
Finally I felt like my life could shape up
Determined to focus I shifted back to basics
Slowly I turned my life back to move forward
Sorry that I left you out for a while
It’s just what I needed to get on track
To remind me that I am strong
Time has taught me It’s not meant to be
Being okay with that left me to decide
Taking a risk I send you this
We will only be friends at best
Never again can I allow myself to slip
But losing friendship isn’t a choice for me
Making this more difficult to give
Yet truth is my new found high
No matter what the case
Please forgive my absence in time
I’m determined to not do it again
But now I am past fine
Dealing with the new stresses
Ready for you once again
I apologize for leaving you behind