when u are young

October 7, 2010
when we are young
we shoot kill and shoot
dream to be in it first hand
see it al with are own eyes
we dont feel the responabity
the hurt the lost were not concend
not libale for it all
as we grow
some may still play these games
but with more knollege respect may be the better word
we long for it to be over dont wanna even look
we feel the pain and the lost
it slowly kills
we ach cry but we are conted
they fight for us
protect us guid us
thought out the journey
even ot you dont know them
you feel there pain there resopity
then everyone becomes one
united as a family, a town,even a state but most importly
as a country as one
when your one you are strong and loyal with no regrets
your pain is every ones pain and
its there love and suport that protects you and carrys you on thought out anything for we are all are one and stand for the same thing
those that still play the games are our savors are protects our helpers but we must not forget they are our neibors, family, friends. and no matter who they are there someones child
who chose to be there for us to save us from wrong from harm
protect us so we can be free
free to be anything
free to chose to see it first hand
with our own eyes or not to free to just be who we are.





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shadowrider said...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 11:28 pm
There are a lot of spelling errors. It makes this piece really hard to read. I know you are trying to get across a very strong feeling here, but the grammatical errors make us focus on that and not the poem itself. Breaking up the lines would also make it easier to read. The second part was my favorite, but I still think this poem could use a lot of work. Keep trying and never give up!
 
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