October 9, 2010
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Nighttime attacks
Along with a storm
The sky is like a party
Lightning the disco ball, thunder the music

But I don't want to dance
There's no beat in thunder
No fun in lightning
No smile in these clouds

I sit on my bed and stare outside
Looking but not seeing
Listening but not hearing
As the world goes mad around me

No reason to respond to useless texts
"It's so rainy"
"I hate thunder"
Why can't they all shut up?

I don't care what they feel.
Do they think I can't see it's was raining?
And there's nothing I can do about the thunder
They're smart enough to know that.

I'm trying to understand
Given up on daydreams
Raindrops are not pebbles
And I am not the Juliet to your Romeo

There is no Juliet
There is no Romeo
To be honest, that's the lamest book I've ever read.
And I'm done with thinking about this

"This" isn't real
It's never going to last
Not when I've seen it
It, this, whatever. It always fades

Strong at first
But fraying as time goes on
And I don't want that
I should've realized it before

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soupbowl21 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 12:16 am

You definitely have a way with words.

The focus of the poem changes kind of suddenly. If I were to edit this, I would relate the ending a little more obviously to the thunderstorm to bring the two subjects together.

I know you sort of relate them when you say it never lasts

or "strong at first but frays at the ends"

but I would make the connection a little more obvious maybe?

You do have excellent word choices and there are a couple lines in this that I... (more »)

DareYouToMove said...
Oct. 23, 2010 at 8:35 pm
This songs like a mix of songs. :) Very nicely written!
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